Applesauce

So, Jason once again has left for his trip, completely being insensitive to what it's like being a single parent with 3 small children all of which are not out of school for the summer. It's really at this point I wish I had a job! I would only then be a single parent for 3 or 4 hours out of my day instead of 24! I don't think he has any idea what a typical day for me looks like or even appreciates the effort of keeping this place from imploding on itself taking me down with it!

So my day went a little something like this...

6am: Up, showered and coffee made (Jason now drinks coffee, but doesn't know how to make it!)

7am: Leaving to go grocery shopping because there is no way I'm taking 3 small children with me to Wal-Mart alone! The whole time hoping Jason is getting everyone ready for school.

9am: Arriving home from shopping, hoping no one is home because if they are, that means the kids are late! Unload groceries, reload van and truck with tons of items for school garage sale.

10am: Head to Maison's school. Unload all garage sale items from truck and van except for one bag. Why one bag? Because that was the one Jason unloaded after he sat and talked on the phone and watched me do all of the work. Mind you, it was a scheduled day off and he didn't need the phone. It's not like he ever call us from Canada anyway. (I just really hate that phone! It absolutely consumes him, like an addiction to crack. He doesn't get reception in Canada anyway, so why does he need it?) *sidenote: I know hate is a strong word, but seriously what conversation is more important than helping someone out? I admire anyone who doesn't have a cell phone! I wish I had the strength to get rid of mine!)

10:15am: Realize I forgot to pick up the teachers a little something and dashed off to Barnes and Noble for gift cards! Whoever invented the gift card is a genius!

10:30am: Head back to Maison's school, deliver cards, and pick him up from his last day.

10:45am: We are now late to Libby's picnic for the last day of school. I send Maison and Jason to the park and I head to get lunch. Also get a phone call from Libby's school reminding me she has no lunch and is panicked!

11:30am: Realize that Izzy has crapped through her diaper, say good-bye to Jason, get Izzy poop all over the car seat and head home.

11:35am: Strip Izzy down and get her in the tub. Bath #1

11:40am: Figure out how to take a car seat apart that is not meant to come apart.

12pm: Abandon car seat to get Izzy out of tub and down for a nap.

12:05pm: Take another look at the car seat.

1:27pm: Finally get the damn thing apart, managed to not lose one of the many screws and put the liner in the wash along with Izzy's clothes and clean the poopy tub!

1:45pm: Izzy up from nap. Crapped out her diaper all over the bed. Poop spray on the walls! Strip her down again and get her in the tub. Bath #2. Get all of the sheets and blankets out of the bed and into the washer. Scrub and spray walls down.

2:10pm: Izzy out of the tub and dressed and clean the poopy tub AGAIN.

2:15pm: Kids decide they want to run through the sprinkler. We don't have one, so I load everyone up and curse myself for not buying the water toy I saw for $10.00 earlier this morning! I debated and debated, but didn't buy it! I even had it in the cart at one point!

2:45pm: Load everyone back up after buying way more than what I came for and headed home.

3:01pm: Pulled in the garage, went to unbuckle Izzy, only to be greeted by another shit storm! Seriously?!

3:05pm: Izzy in the tub AGAIN! Bath #3! Taking the seat apart AGAIN, much faster this time!

3:20pm: Izzy out of the tub, poopy tub cleaned, and back to the seat!

3:32pm: Liner and clothes in the washer again.

3:34pm: Everyone outside to run through the brand new sprinkler.

4:00pm: Izzy sprayed in the face, pissed, and ready for a snack.

4:05pm: Izzy in the highchair eating some applesauce. Gracie kept bugging her and she kept shushing her away. I think she got confused and accidentally threw applesauce all over the kitchen.

4:10pm: Izzy in the tub yet AGAIN! Bath #4! Highchair liner in the washer. I start making hamburgers for dinner. Leaving the applesauce. It's just too much to deal with right now, considering I just scrubbed the kitchen floor yesterday. Really!? It couldn't have happened later in the week when the floor really needs scrubbing again?

4:20pm: Izzy out of the tub. Went with a onsie this time. Back to finish dinner.

4:30pm: Grill lit, Libby in the shower, and Maison on the front porch getting ready for his summer haircut. Still leaving the applesauce because I feel like the next time I come in, it will magically be cleaned up! Right?

4:35pm: Half of Maison's hair cut. Clippers quit working. Used oil, hair brush, and a knock on the cement to fire them up. Blades going back and forth, not cutting. FRICK!

4:45pm: Libby still in shower, half of Maison's head buzzed, me trying to hold back a breakdown and going next door praying Carey has a clipper.

4:50pm: Crisis averted! Used Carey's clipper to finish Maison's hair.

4:51pm: Trying to get Libby out of the shower so Maison can get in. (The smallest body needs the longest hottest shower right?) Assuming there is even any hot water after the washer has been running all day as well as the tub! Izzy trashing my kitchen cupboards. Maison in the shower. Realize the trimmer is on Jason's shaver, which he obviously took with him (which I don't know why since they don't shower or shave! Don't get me wrong, they aren't really roughing it, but they don't seem to mind each other's funk.)

5:00pm: Found an old trimmer, stole batteries out of other gadgets, trimmers trimming.

5:01pm: Put burgers on grill. No magic clean up! Get the applesauce cleaned up and the kitchen floor mopped.

5:15pm: Check on burgers. Ran out of propane. Take about 10 deep breathes squeeze out a couple of tears and take everything in.

5:16pm: I never had pan fried burgers before, but I don't know how else to finish them off. I get out my tiny frying pan because it's the only one that things don't stick to (I needed to replace my cookware about a year ago, but just don't have the money to do so!) Grease is flying everywhere because the meat is 85/15. Great! What's worse, grease or cemented applesauce?

5:30pm: 4 burgers finally cooked. Everyone eating but me. Izzy eats her burger then moves on to mine.

5:45pm: Kids outside, trusting them to keep an eye on Izzy because now I have a greasy oven top to clean up. Clean up kitchen.

6:05pm: Every kid in the freaking neighborhood is over!

6:20pm: Blood curdling screams heard for miles! Maison took a nasty spill on his bike and now requires a nurse. I take him into the bathroom, clean up his road rash on his elbow, ankle and stomach. Get him bandaged, give him kisses, and get him back outside so I can finish cleaning up the kitchen.

6:31: My mom calls. I relay the above info and she offers to come over with adult beverages!

7:00pm: Izzy diaper change, another snack, and to bed.

7:16pm: Food preparation. All fruits and veggies washed and salsa made.

7:45pm: All flowers and garden plants watered.

8:02pm: Mommy here with adult beverages. Head outside to the deck.

9:00pm: Maison, Libby, and the neighbors come inside to play for a little while.

10:00pm: Everyone home, all kids in bed and I am sitting down for a good cry and to put the car seat back together for what I hope is the last time. Make a list of all the things that need to be done tomorrow. I can't forget to mow the lawn. It feels like I just mowed it, but I guess it was Tues. the last time I mowed it. I hate this time of year because now the lawn requires me to mow it twice a week or it turns into a hay field! Oh, yeah, I didn't even get to Maison's therapy today, better get that one the list twice for tomorrow!

So now when Jason gets home, it will be another week before I see him because he will have to work late just to get caught up. Where is my break from it all you ask? I've been asking the same question for years now! When you find it, let me know! I just hope tomorrow isn't as exciting as today!